Archive for September 2007

A Little More Information… Two Deleted Posts: From Jon & Rachel.

September 30, 2007

Finally, I’ve found the post by Jon that was on Modblog. It’s been deleted, and I couldn’t find the cache of it online anymore. In any case, here it is, courtesy of Misplaced Ice’s post on the BME community at LJ.

This is Jon posting as Shannon

As you can see, Shannon has not changed his password. For someone who fears being locked out you’d think the first thing any knowledgable computer person would do is change their password. He left his password the same because he wanted me to delete his post, because that would have only “proved” his continuing lies.

The betrayal post was deleted by him after a close friend called him out on using all of you to do his dirty work by slandering us. Believe it or not, I personally do not care, and to be very clear Im not here to slander anyone, Im posting to defend myself.

I had the courage to do what needed to be done in a very hard time, and all of you are slandering me based on another persons word.

Unless you know Shannon personally, your opinion of him or who controls BME is irrelevant. If you were not here last night talking to the police, or at the police station. I had to go because of shannons outlandish statements about me to the police, and I didn’t even witness what happened. I have known him for at least 5 years and have LIVED IN THE SAME HOUSE with him the entire time.

I removed his access to business essential systems after I received a call from Rachel saying she had just been assaulted, it was clear that he was being very irrational and was acting out of control. If you run a “family” business you may understand my reasons for doing so.

I have been the sole sysadmin for BME for over 3 years, I am responsible for all of our machines and services 24/7/365 and I take that responsibility very seriously.

IAM members, feel free to search his page for my name and see all that I have done for BME in the past, it certainly seems like most of you require a history lesson. I have saved BME countless times, and I have improved the overall quality of service 100 fold, and this is the thanks I get.

From Shannons page:

2006/02/24 21:23 Sorry for all the trouble. I assure you “it hurts me more than it hurts you” — not that such a statement is relevant or consolation in the least!

Anyway, big thanks to Jon for temporarily donating his server (so his own site is currently offline) in order to keep BME online. We’ve tested the existing account, additions of new accounts, as well as the interface to IAM (and I’ve cleared up space for new accounts here also). That said, there may still be problems, so please tell one of us the details if you believe you found one.

Theres plenty more search for yourself

If you are my friend, if you know me personally, you know what type of person I am. Defend me if you wish, I wont hold it against you if you dont.

Obviously, you can’t go to any of the links that he has provided as of this time, but whenever IAM goes back up you should be able to.

Also, I’m pretty sure that if I anyone ever said, “Unless you know Shannon personally, your opinion of him or who controls BME is irrelevant,and didn’t delete the post would be digitally lynched in this community. It shouldn’t matter who we know if we pay and contribute and help the community and site grow just as much as anyone else. Yes, it was a good call to delete that post for that statement, but it was still read and that is still rather troubling for the administrator to say.

A quick question though: If he was there and he knew Rachel’s feelings about the entire thing, why would he go online and post the same amount of information about the personal aspect of this event as Shannon did?

Now, thanks to Lori’s comment on ModBlog, I have the post that Rachel had up and is now gone. Which, unlike her other posts, seems angry and hurt.

Shannon is not locked out of Modblog or IAM. It is the other way around. He has suspended both my page and Jon, our sysadmin. There are two things that he does, updating modblog (after Phil sends him images to post) and updating his personal blog.

He lied/exaggerated about being “sent to prison” as he spent a few hours in a police station just blocks from the house. I am not the “ex” wife. I am still his wife. Shannon and I are married, have not even legally separated even though I left him in the beginning of 2006.

I own 100% of BME and have been running the behind the scenes for almost 7 years. I do not enjoy the limelight so I stay out of it. I run the business as has been public knowledge until Shannon’s removal of links to me and references. Shannon is the “face” of BME. A public persona that you are all exposed to. If you don’t know who I am or who Jon is, that is because you haven’t been around or very long. Without Jon, IAM would have died last week and nothing would have been done to save it. He didn’t even get a thank you. When a server went down, *I* was the one on the first flight out to rebuild it. Learn your BME history.

I am not going to release the details of why Shannon was arrested. He has conveniently posted here, then said if the post was removed that it wasn’t him unless it was cross posted to It hasn’t been posted so it’s a very easy way to cause more drama. Just like he said he didn’t TOS my page.

Feel free to continue to cast judgment based on a vague post that conflicts itself. Those of you calling me “greedy” and making stupid assumptions about BME/IAM going offline have no idea what you are talking about. You will feel very foolish when this is all resolved and it is made very clear what the FACTS are.

Yikes. I think that both posts are a bit harsh and that’s the reason behind why they were removed, no other reason besides that and the personal information being so public–though there isn’t much. Also, if everyone’s posts like these have been removed, it makes sense that everyone deleted their own posts on the subject.

Now, it has gone from a “he said she did” to a “they said he did” feud. It’s just all messed up in my opinion because all these thousands of members and viewers are thrown into the mix because it spilled over into their business.

..And when is ModBlog going to be updated again? Have we lost it too?

Comment posted by — — —
at 9/30/2007 10:46:34 PM

I agree. This isn’t high school and if they didn’t want a private matter to become public, they (as a whole, not as an individual) should not have disclosed any information in the first place.

They could have simply left it as an IT problem that needed the servers taken down right then. I’m pretty sure everyone would have been pissed, but we would have delt with it better.

No matter what, it’s not as though I can ignore everything that I have read and I feel as though the community at large should know everything that is going on, but the only reason I am putting up the private parts of these deleted posts is because they were posted in the first place. They were posted to be read and that is why they are still up.

I just hope that everything works out for everyone and the community doesn’t have to stay as “We Were” and continue to be “I Am.” It brings people pride, as it should, and I hope it will continue to.

Comment posted by russell
at 9/30/2007 8:55:30 PM

With all this BME crap going on, I am torn. I have been able to overcome many obstacles and get the body mods I desired because of this site, and the encouragement that Shannon has given to me. Ask anyone in the general populace (mid MIssouri where I am), who runs BME you will always get the reply Shannon. That is fact. Like any large business with high profiles, the figure head gets the laud and honer, and those that do the work get the satusfactio of a job well done. But what I see, what i am hearing is that “we” the consumer do not matter and just wait cuz ….blah blah blah. If this is a “personal” fight, leave it at that. Period, keep it behind the scenes. The stature and crediblility of BME has been hurt, and how long will it take to gain trust of the consumers? This isn’t high school, this life. I’ve been knocked on my ass so many times it is pathetic, but I don’t go out to descredit that person, I buck up and move on.


An Email From Rachel.

September 30, 2007

I’d like everyone to read the information about why IAM is down.

I cannot apologize enough for having to take IAM down without notice. Starting from Thursday morning, the order of events that we suddenly started seeing was that some of the CGI’s were being deleted from the server on a regular basis. We then put in place a mechanism to replace those CGIs when they were removed while investigating the behavior. Once that was in place, we noticed that something was deleting user profiles so we made the decision to turn off services and prevent further data loss while we investigate the matter. It seems that the act of disabling IIS has prevented further account deletions. We are still investigating the matter and require the site to be offline until we are able to pin point the cause of the data loss. Please remind everyone that we have a back up of the site from 9/19/2007 so any profiles that may have been affected will be restored.

As with any unscheduled downtime, we have always credited members with more than the outage period and there has NEVER been an instance where we did not credit members for an unscheduled outage.

As far as I am concerned, no personal information is to be released as it never should have been in the first place.

And here’s the update from ModBlog.

I believe we have figured out what the “deletions” were. They weren’t actual deletions. What would happen was that if you loaded a page, whatever was deleting the CGI file would basically make it so if you timed it properly, it looked like the page you were viewing had been deleted as it suddenly had a background but no information. We didn’t put two and two together until about two hours ago that it wasn’t a REAL deleted page because if you replaced one CGI file, the page was back.

We are still trying to determine what is causing the files to delete themselves but we believe we have figured it out. I am hoping that IAM will be turned back up on Sunday or Monday at the latest, with all users having access and with the current data from the day the site initially went offline.

PLEASE REMEMBER THAT YOUR DATA IS SAFE. We have TWO complete back ups. One from whenever the site originally was turned down and another from the migration on the 19th. No matter what is being said, you will get the opportunity to back up your photos and diaries as soon as the site is back up. I am doing everything I can to return IAM. My intention is to have IAM back up by Monday at the latest.

AGAIN, the files that are deleting themselves are not related to your data. Your photos, diary entries, IMs and everything else will be there just as if you’d never left them!


Very sweet, really. So, I would assume that Jon, who’s post on ModBlog I found yesterday, was the one that put up the old IAM message? I know that no one really wants the personal to come into the light, but then why did everyone but Rachel herself post it in the first place? All the other parties did: Shannon and Jon.

In any case, they are trying their damnest to get everything back in working order and I, as well as the rest of the community, hope that this gets resolved quickly and fixed for good.

IAM is currently offline.

September 29, 2007

(I am sorry about the little bit of downtime the site has had today. I will check up more often to make sure this does not happen in the future. Thank you.)

Here is what the IAM sites say today:

Recently, many ugly rumors and innuendos have been spreading across the Internet regarding the fate of BMEzine, BMEvideo, IAM and Modblog, as well as the state of our personal relationship. Allow me to address the two issues separately.First, I wish to assure you that BMEzine, BMEvideo, and Modblog are fine and will continue to be so. While we have experienced some technical difficulties with IAM as of late, we expect those to be resolved in short order. Your personal content is perfectly safe, and will not be lost. Some user accounts appear to have been deleted but please don’t worry as we have a complete back up of the site from Wednesday September 19th, 2007 on a machine that is not affected by this outage. Those of you experiencing difficulty accessing the site will be fully credited for your down time. I wish to assure you that Shannon and Myself will continue in our respective roles at BMEzine as long as we both desire and I will strive to ensure its healthy future. BMEshop is entirely unrelated to this matter and is accepting and shipping orders just as they normally do.

Shannon is currently updating BodyTwo during this unscheduled outage. Shannon’s desired contact email address is

Regarding personal matters, I feel sad that any issues regarding my relationship with my husband have been made public. I know you understand that there is a fine line between public and personal personas, a line that often blurs, especially in the “he said, she said” world of the Internet. Please respect our wishes to keep our personal lives just that…personal, while we work through this trying time.

Our mutual wish is that you continue to enjoy BMEzine and its family of sites. Please know that we value your contributions and the community at large.

Thank you for your patience and understanding.

Best regards,
Rachel Larratt

This is now what the IAM site says. Thankfully, someone changed the “needlessly bitchy” page that was presented at the beginning of this affair. It has now been changed three times, and I find this one the most tactful, so I wanted to repost it in case it was removed.

Also, though every BME member understands that the reasoning behind this outage of IAM is a personal matter between two or more parties, the simple fact that our sites themselves have been brought into question has made it a personal matter with many members of this community.

On top of that, some of them, who already feel discouraged are leaving or deleting there accounts, or starting up groups elsewhere. In the world of Web 2.0, people can do this easily and I wonder if IAM and the BME community will ever be able to overcome this. Lots of people with personal, hidden things were suddenly terrified that they may be exposed to the entirety of the internet in one fell swoop. Though this has not happened, I’m sure that many will not want to experience that feeling of fear ever again.

To everyone that has dropped by to read in the past 24 hours, I thank you for your tact and ability not to spam the site with hate comments. I know that the issues at BME/IAM has made the community itself somewhat divided, and I would love to post more on the subject to keep readers up-to-date.


September 28, 2007

For anyone that has viewed my profiles, you will have noticed that I have an account there. It is my personal blog and mini-site, which I just started working on once again a couple of nights ago. After that night, I have not been able to access it. I emailed Shannon about my problem and have yet to get any information back, though he usually responds within a days time. I should have realized then that something was wrong.

My username and password are right, and now the entire IAM community is down. After a little digging on my part, I have decided to post what is going on so others may find out quicker than I did.

First off, IAM is down, but not BME itself. It is still up and running, though for how long anyone can guess.

Last night, this was posted by Shannon and promply removed and deleted:

Over the last month or two Rachel and Jon have taken control of key aspects of BME without my consent in what seems to be a hostile takeover attempt. Last night false charges were filed against me and I just got out of prison, upon which I discovered that I had been locked out of administrative sections of all the servers as well as being totally locked out of BME. I don’t know how long this account will remain before it is deleted or locked out as well, because attempts were made to lock me out of IAM also. I do not have control over or any of my other servers either so I am unable to fully post this update. Please pass it on because it may be deleted.

I can be reached at

If my access here is cut off or they deactivate the site I will post updates to and elsewhere.

I hope that a reasonable resolution to this can be found, but never in my life have I felt so betrayed or had such underhanded, despicable, and deceptive attacks launched at me. If a claim is made that this situation has been resolved and it is not co-posted to at least, do not assume it is me making the post.

The only real information I can find, besides people assuming things, is Shannon’s stated post.

For some information on what sites I visited, here is a listing.

Anyway, for anyone who would like to help out in any way, please contact Shannon. I will leave my comments open for everyone, unlike most of the sites with information about this problem. I will also not remove this post, for any reason.

What is This?

September 24, 2007

This is a post, duh.

Well, this is a post that is here to explain something, I should say. You see, I’ve been having some problems lately. Fortunately, it has nothing to do with my host, which is what usually happens to me.

Currently, the ISP that I’ve been using is acting up. As in, it’s not letting me access everything during the day. I have a couple of reasons behind why this would be occurring, but nothing that I would, as of yet, like to explain. Just know that I will not be able to post as much, because I just won’t be able to access the site. (Like yesterday.)

Besides that, the internet on my phone is also being a son of a bitch, which means I can’t even send mail through it. So, until both or one of these problems are fixed, I’ll be updating whenever possible, instead of trying to every day.

Not to say that I don’t have things to talk about though. I always have things to talk about, believe me.

Anywhom, that’s really all I wanted to say for the night. Off to watch more Final Fantasy XII on my widescreen. Also, to everyone that is in line for Halo 3–best of luck to you. Hope the game rocks.

The Jena Six.

September 22, 2007

I don’t know what to say. Honestly, even though I’m white, I would have found the boys that hung those nooses on the tree and kicked their asses. They deserve it and no one has ever bothered punishing them severely for it. What would it have taken? Them to burn a cross in the school yard?

Those kids should have had a much harsher punishment, but it seems that people don’t always realize that even the most adolescent “prank” can go awry and get people hurt in the end. I really think that hanging nooses from a tree in the south is pretty bad, but apparently their school board didn’t think so.

Also, at my high school, we had junior members of the KKK. We also had very few black students. The ones that did attempt to participate in classes such as agriculture, which were full on members, were scared off. I remember going down to welding class one day and finding my African-American friends’ locker spray painted with blood red words I would rather not say. He didn’t stay in class for long after that.

Now, my high school is in Indiana. You can’t possibly tell me that if there are members of the KKK here that they aren’t in Louisiana. The nooses on the tree should have been considered a hate crime, even if it was directed at other white students. A noose is what people used to use to kill one another. It is a hate crime, period. Plain and simple.

For more information on the Jena 6, please go here.

In other news, this is my 100th post for this site. Aren’t you just so proud?

Comment posted by — — —
at 9/28/2007 6:48:51 PM

You are right on that, but the thing about the Jena 6 that bothers me and lots of other people is the nooses thing.

I mean, why else would a group of white kids from the south put up nooses on a tree? It’s not a death threat in the terms of “we will hang you,” because it was directed at black students. It was a direct threat of “we will lench you,” which is something that is, generally, only directed towards black members of society in the United States.

The fact that this was overlooked and, for the most part, ignored as nothing more than a “prank” is wrong.

If crimes were just crimes, everything in the states would be just fine. At least then, people wouldn’t be afraid to walk through certain areas of cities because they are not the right color or race or gender.

Comment posted by Eh!
at 9/26/2007 2:15:17 PM

I really don’t think it should matter if it’s race or not tho. If you hate someone because they are black or you hate someone because they fucked your wife/husband it’s kinda all the same. A crime is a crime. amirite?

Comment posted by — — —
at 9/24/2007 6:35:41 PM

Well, most are.

But, more often than not, hate crimes are racially modivated, which make things worse.

Comment posted by Eh!
at 9/24/2007 9:08:46 AM

All crimes are hate crimes.

Noticed Anything New?

September 22, 2007

Like, uh, the sidebar?

I got button friendly, so, yes, I’ve replaced about everything. But I’m not done yet! Not for sure what else I’ll be doing with it, but it does seem more organized this way. At least I think so.

So, some props have to go out to Adam Kalsey for having a great button maker on his blog. It’s wonderful and has made me waste most of my day. I’d rather use his button maker than using my image software for it! Also, before I forget, all of the buttons that I currently have in my Tons of Buttons collection are from Taylor McKnight’s collection of Steal-able Buttons.

Well, I’ll have more news on everything later.

Comment posted by — — —
at 9/22/2007 1:34:57 PM

Yes, Halo 3. I have to admit, I don’t much care for the commercial though. Personally, I always liked calling him Chef instead of Chief. Now, if only he was a large, loveable black man…

Comment posted by Donnie
at 9/22/2007 2:01:15 AM

I was going to say something but I saw a Halo 3 commercial and could no longer form a coherent sentence. I go now to find a cookie.

Comment posted by — — —
at 9/22/2007 1:23:39 AM

The only thing I could think of when I read that was, “Is he going to eat them? Like they’re cookies?” Because we all know that computer cookies are just no good with text milk.

Comment posted by Donnie
at 9/22/2007 1:20:00 AM

Mmmm, buttons.

Again, I Am Bored.

September 21, 2007

Just stuck here. We don’t have the money or gas to go do anything, so J.’s off with my car and a handful of applications.

I just read in the paper today that the place that is most likely to hire me is for sale, so it’ll be changing management. Now I wonder if they’ll bother hiring at all and if they do, there’s a good chance the job won’t stick. That rather sucks.

Besides that, Dinki kept me awake half of the night nuzzling my head, because she’s so damn clingy. I gave her a bath last night and figured I’d just let her stay in because she was just laying around pouting. Ha! Once I got to sleep, she woke up and it was hours of me going to bed then being awakened by the crazy little kitten.

Bill needs a bath too, but I’m just not feeling up to it. It takes a lot to get him to take a bath and it wears him out, as well as me. I just can’t do it today.

I still have a couple of things to do to the sidebar. Like, add some links back in. That sort of thing. It’s not much, but it needs to be done because it’s starting to bother me. On top of that, I’m thinking about working on my two other sites more, since they need it. I just set up all the email accounts–finally–yesterday after the SQL breakdown, because there was nothing else I could do. Speaking of, that reminds me of a couple more things I need to do.

Desperately Seeking Money.

September 20, 2007

Sorry about the SQL issue today. Not for sure what happened, but HostNine fixed it pretty fast and it’s all good now.

Today’s title is a knock off the movie titled Desperately Seeking Susan.


Not really a joke though. No money for gas, for bills, for anything. Gah, no one will hire us. No one will even respond to the applications I put in, because everyone is a jackass.

I updated and added some new categories. Also, finally, added the images for my RSS feeds back. They’re working too!

And, if you don’t know what PNP means, it stands for Pen ‘N’ Paper. You know, old school.

Currently, I’m working on beating Guitar Hero I & II on hard. I can play a couple of expert songs, but I can’t beat them all, so I’ve decided to go through hard completely first. Go me, goby! (I’ve also been playing way too much Animal Crossing.)

Comment posted by — — —
at 9/21/2007 4:44:51 PM

Yes’m. Sometime, when I’m not feeling sick or have a kitten on top of me.

Comment posted by Donnie
at 9/21/2007 2:53:03 PM

We should do something some time, its been like, months or something. I dunno, I can’t keep track of time for shit, but it has been a while.

Comment posted by — — —
at 9/21/2007 2:42:51 PM

Well blah to you then. Usually I see you on because it shows your IP as “Guest_Donnie” but I guess I’ve just been missing it.

Comment posted by Donnie
at 9/21/2007 1:04:14 PM

Sitting here, same as always. Just didn’t know what to say. You can be sure I’m always reading even if I’m not saying anything.

Comment posted by — — —
at 9/21/2007 12:18:21 PM

Lol. Where have you been? I was wondering to the point of getting on MySpace and sending you an IM.

Comment posted by Donnie
at 9/20/2007 11:02:42 PM

Must I walk to your house and hand you money? Assuming I remember where it is.

What About Tomorrow?

September 19, 2007

I just don’t know about my grandmother. She has issues with me that I can’t begin to understand and she’s not about to tell anyone, so it’s just a mystery.

Tomorrow, I’m supposed to take her to a doctor’s appointment. It was rescheduled today to 8:45AM, but that’s not a big problem for me. I was fine with it, but I knew that I would have to find the quickest route there to get her to the appointment on time, since she won’t ride in my car and we’ll be taking my mother’s. My mom won’t be home till about an hour before the appointment, so I didn’t want to have to rush down there, and, having never been to the clinic before, I looked it up on MapQuest.

My mother and grandmother have both given me directions. They have both given me different directions. My grandmother has a tendency to go the longest route to avoid traffic, and I am not like that. I can get through traffic–I am an aggressive driver when needed. So, I just wanted to look it up to see what way I was going to go.

Well, MapQuest says that it’ll only take about 40 minutes to get there. That would be fine and all, if my grandmother was okay with it. She wanted to know where I got my directions from. She kept asking until I explained that I looked it up online. (Apparently, saying “I found it on MapQuest” wasn’t good enough for her!) She proceeded to shout about “well if I don’t get there on time” thing, which was stupid because I had just explained that I found the shortest route there so we could make it on time–39 minutes.

I’m just tired of her doing this. Ever since she got sick, I’ve offered to help out but she never has wanted me to take her anywhere. She’ll admit that I’m not a bad driver, but she’d rather my mother take her. Once, when my mother and I both asked her what the problem was with me taking her, she broke down and said that she “didn’t want to be alone,” as though I would just drop her off and leave her there!

It’s just not always possible for my mother to take her. She works six days a week and has to sleep during the day, but anytime she can she takes her mother. This appointment, my grandmother tried to reschedule so my mom could take her, stating that she “didn’t have a way down there otherwise.” A handful of family and friends have been wanting to take her to her appointments and such, but she’ll have none of it.

What is her problem? I may never know. She won’t explain it and the one time she has let me take her to an appointment, she told me to sit down and wait for her to come back out. My mother didn’t understand this when I told her, because my grandmother doesn’t like doing things alone.

In any case, I can’t just up and blame it on her medication either. She’s been withdrawn from all of us from some time and that’s the way this family works. You don’t cry. You don’t show emotion, except anger. We’ve all had shouting matches and it’s been like that since I was a child and I was raised this way. We don’t try and open up to each other, because that’s just not how they work. So, maybe that’s a big part of it too.

I’m upset, of course, but that’s beside the point. I just wish I knew what her problem is with me. It’s like how she used to be with my uncle, who is now rather accepted in the family.

Does that now make me the black sheep of this family? Would that really surprise me that much? ..No.